Coping With Your Difficult Older Parent : A Guide for Stressed-Out Children
Author: Grace Lebow, Barbara Kane
List Price: $12.95
Our Price: Click to see the latest and low price
ISBN: 038079750X
Publisher: Avon (01 February, 1999)
Sales Rank: 13,107
Average Customer Rating: 4.62 out of 5
Customer Reviews
Rating: 5 out of 5
The best of the bunch
I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I've read the gamut of parent self-help books and found this one to be the most uplifting and practical. I deal with a difficult 86 year old, narcissistic mother who has had many recent illnesses and crises. Barbara and Grace's book gave me the insight and advice needed for me to get past my anger and confusion and start setting limits for my mother while providing her support. It helped me enormously. After reading the book, I also found myself needing care management services for my mom. I'm lucky to be living in the Washington, DC area and was able to use the author's care management services when my mother had emergency surgery and needed 24 hour home help. Barbara is as wonderfully empathetic in person as she is in her book. She helped in both understanding and helping me manage my mother as my mother moved through her latest crisis. I don't think I couldn't managed easily without her help.
Rating: 5 out of 5
Practical Pointers for Problem Parents
I have read several books and articles on the subject of children providing care for their ailing parents. This book is the first I have read that addresses the challenges of the interpersonal relationship between a grown child and an emotionally-draining parent. All the other books have dealt with the physical ailments of aging, or the individual challenge of being a caregiver.The authors address several different types of interaction between a grown child and parent that are common today. Any reader frustrated with a difficult parent will find some area of this volume to which he can relate. The authors are quick to emphasize that since parents can't be made to change, the only hope for improving the relational situation is in changing as grown children.
Role-playing is frequently used to illustrate "before" behavior, then to illustrate "after" behavior as a result of using the specific principle suggested. The authors also encourage developing a mental strategy that plans ahead for confrontational situations. By identifying certain phrases and comments that trigger stress, the grown child can redirect the conversation and move it in a healthier direction for both parties.
This book does not address responding to serious diseases with parents, the decision of a nursing home, or major financial frustrations. It does deal with the constant irritation that can and often does develop between an aging parent and a grown child. I recommend it highly to all persons who are dealing with the stress resulting from interacting with a difficult, older parent.
Rating: 5 out of 5
A life preserver to a drowning person!
Being an only child has left me completely overwhelmed since my father's recent death. This Guide HAD to have been written with my mother in mind! It provides simple, clear concise scenarios that everyone can relate to and better yet, it gives solutions. This book is an absolute MUST read for anyone dealing with a difficult parent in their later years. You will not be sorry to have picked this one up. Similar Products
The Complete Eldercare Planner, Second Edition : Where to Start, Which Questions to Ask, and How to Find Help
Book Index