Unfortunately I think "Within" sounded good on the drawing board, but kind of trips over itself in the process.
First of all the book is very simplistic, and anyone with any degree of self-awareness, critical thinking skills or who has has explored philosophy/spirituality will probably find this book a bit patronizing. I agree that profound answers often lie in a simple approach, but I believe the purpose of these exercises are weighed down and ultimately drowned in the author's own self-absorbed narration and exploration.
If Mr. Gooch's simplistic approach was done with the intention of making this book palatable for "the everyday gay man", he would have done himself a huge favor by toning down the constant name-dropping and ostentatious descriptions of his own fabulousness and "society" lifestyle. Any common gay man needing to find the "boyfriend within" would probably find this a bit alienating. It also undermines his credibility, since it demonstrates how out of touch he is with anyone besides himself
and those within his trendy Manhattan social circles. Using himself and his own over-the-top lifestyle as a blueprint for "finding the boyfriend within" would have been like Marie Antoinette writing a dessert book for the hungry masses of pre-revolutionary France. It just rings false.
However I do want to give the author the benefit of the doubt about his book, especially after reading the previous reviews. I think on one level the appearance of self-absorption is a trapping of the premise. It's a shame Mr. Gooch didn't think this through and perhaps find a cross section of regular gay men (not the A list, jet-set friends who populate "FTBFW") to do the exercises and base what he has to say at least in part on their testimony. As is the book reads like a thinly veiled personal promotional brochure for the author. I am sure the Mr. Gooch would find focusing on awareness outside of the self--and on someone else--incredibly enlightening. It would have also given "finding the boyfriend within" a much broader definition. I find it hard to believe that someone who teaches at a university didn't consider this kind of data or research a key component for a book on this topic.
I am sure there are probably a large number of gay men who do need to find the boyfriend within, especially those guys who think that having a partner is the answer and/or a cure-all for whatever ails them. However, as the author unintentionally points out via this book, the problem with many gay men is not so much finding the Boyfriend Within, but rather with worshipping the inner diva.
In my experience, the "enough about me....so what about me?" philosophy is almost a cliche in the gay world. It is unfortunate that so many gay men you meet in social scenes often end up making you feel like you are doing and interview for an entertainment rag instead of having a conversation. I, me, my, and mine are their favorite words, and you end up feeling talk at, rather than talked to. Their behavior and actions define their absolute focus on the inner boyfriend, which doesn't leave room for anyone else.
We obsess on the superficial, and yet bemoan a lack of a relationship with real substance. We want to find someone who loves us, but can't get off the Fabulous Train to NeverNeverLand long enough to care about and love someone at least half as much as ourselves. Ironic, isn't it?
I think finding the boyfriend within is a good idea on some levels, but Mr. Gooch is by no means the ideal guide for this journey. Maybe "Exorcising the Inner Narcissist" or "Vanquishing the Inner Diva" might be more appropriate titles for future exploration, since dealing with these aspects of ourselves would most likely prove to be a more substantial source of love, happiness, and respect.