Healing the Shame That Binds You
Author: John Bradshaw
List Price: $9.95
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ISBN: 0932194869
Publisher: Health Communications (01 October, 1988)
Sales Rank: 4,249
Average Customer Rating: 4.18 out of 5
Customer Reviews
Rating: 5 out of 5
Will You Love and Accept Yourself for Doing That?
This is a powerful question to ask youself, and those around you, in the face of self-defeating thoughts and comments.I thought I had converted every shame-wound from my childhood into empowering habits, ones that guide me to solve my biggest problems ---until I reread this book.
The first time that I read this book, 7 years ago, I was so glad to have a name for the shame-wounds that I kept recreating in every aspect of my life.
And once I had a great definition, and many examples of how I not only experienced shame, but also recreated it, I taught myself to respond to my experiences, instead of reacting to them.
But what was missing, in all of these years was someone to mirror my evolved self.
John Bradshaw points out that we who have come from a shame-based childhood need a circle of people who mirror are needs, wants and beliefs, because it was people, our primary caretakers, who passed on to us their disowned shame.
Even though I have read so many books, and have evolved so much, I have had the opportunity to recognize in rereading this book that I need to be witnessed by a circle of people, which I will call my adult family -- without that recognition we all stagnate.
Years ago, I couldn't phathom joining such a group, for 3 reasons:
1. I have no chemical dependencies;
2. I feared that baring my soul to a body of strangers would
mean that I would be permanently humiliated and ashamed;
and,
3. I didn't recognize my need to heal my financial wounds.
Well. Thanks to this book I have found that courage to be more visible to a group who positively contributes to part of my journey. I've also healed so well that even if I bare my soul to someone who is toxic, someone who won't be able to compassionately respond to my authenticity, reading this book has helped me to see that I am more than my dark sides.
I advise anyone reading this book to do so, with pen in hand. And ask yourself what it would be like to grow, while you are visible to people who are free to allow you to be visible to them.
With understanding and appreciation of toxic shame, you will process all of your emotions, and love yourself for that.
Thank you, John Bradshaw.
Rating: 4 out of 5
Taking the healing process to the next level.
Healing The Shame That Binds You is an integral read for anyone going through a recovery process. The concept of shame is intangible and esoteric, which makes this book a harder read than some of the more popular self help books, but Bradshaw's work is a classic for a reason. Bradshaw provides an understanding of the pain we carry from the past, the role we take on early in life to control others' emotions, how we continue to live life through others, how this dynamic contributes to depression, and how we can break the cycle. The end of the book overviews a number of tools we can use to further understand 'the shame that binds us'. While I wouldn't recommend Bradshaw's book for anyone new to recovery, it's highly recommended to those who are looking to take their journey into self-realization to a new level and looking to become more intimate with their deepest emotions and difficult memories in order to heal.
Rating: 2 out of 5
I use this book to deal with the pain of my accident.
After the torpedo accident, I lost my legs and the ability to speak. I turned to drinking robitussin to deal with my anger, and my bitter, bitter remorse. I became depressed, and I suffered hallucinations most of the day, and I had horrible nightmares whenever I could sleep. After I read this book, I understood that torpedo accidents are God's way of playing tricks on us, and all we can do is laugh, and think of how much satisfaction God gets from watching us deal with misfortunes like torpedo accidents. Now, I begin everyday by praying and asking God to give me the grace to understand his wicked sense of humor. I also pray that I avoid further episodes with torpedos. I love this book, and I love submarines, but I hate torpedos. Thanks Amazon.com! Similar Products
Bradshaw On : The Family
Healing the Child Within
Family Secrets : The Path to Self-Acceptance and Reunion
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