As I read through the chapters, phrases here and there immediately caught my attention. "I was about to grieve a death but I wasn't fully prepared for its complexity." Profound and so very true. Nothing can compare to the loss of a divorce. I find it's a two-sided sword. Regardless of who says it's over, both spouses are hurt. Common sense: One prepares for his or her wedding day but who prepares for a divorce?
The author's description of Hansel, a wayward Belgian Shepherd, fit perfectly. She states, "This couldn't be happening to me. Not to me." Resounding and painfully true. I don't know how many times I felt wayward while uttering this painful "Not to me" phrase in the beginning of the falling apart of my marriage. I guess when it comes down to it, only one walking through the dark dungeons of betrayal, separation, court proceedings, and lonely nights can make such a deliberate, raw, and numbing statement.
The POV of Ms. Rogers is authentic and heart felt. I appreciate the fact that she is not speaking from so-called research. She speaks from her heart, and shares her own first-hand experience, which is something as a reader I appreciated. That took courage.
"Ending a relationship through separation or divorce is complicated by the fact that both partners are still alive. Wounds run deep. One or both feel rejected." So very true. No matter how much ones tries to keep up the facade that everything is all right in public or in their own mind of denial in their lonely bedroom at home -- regardless of who leaves -- feeling and seeing the love that once was is no more being dismantled 50/50 by a judge, the church, and society is humiliating and devastating. And having others wonder out loud why your marriage fell apart doesn't make one feel any better.
In Happy Tails, Ms. Rogers covers it all. She tells you like it is and doesn't paint a pretty picture of what it is you are to expect when it comes to going through a divorce. How fortunate for her readers that she also provides strength, empathy, inspiration, and hope not only to forgive yourself but to forgive your ex spouse so that you can move on with no regrets. The key to moving on is letting go. Ms. Rogers provides relevant and realistic pearls of wisdom.
The use of animal analogies is brilliant. As I read through the book, I couldn't help identifying with Snickers, the feisty dachsund. That's me. My heart strings were pulled by the wounds suffered by Buck, the Shelty. That's me. I struggled holding back the tears thinking of my children as I read the story of the little boy, Jacob, and, Jasper, the baby raccoon. That's me, again!
My only displeasure with this book is in its title. I don't understand how Brown Books could have assigned such a flimsy title to such an outstanding book. I think because of the "friendly and happy title," this book can unfortunately get easily overlooked, which is truly a shame.
For those of you reading my review, please give this book a chance. Believe me, this book is profound and is capable of changing lives. It's an antidote for the emotionally fragile who are walking around with a broken heart as they see their homes, families, and marriages falling apart. This book is truly worth its weight in gold.
Given as a gift to yourself, a close friend, or loved one, this book will be cherished like an old, loyal friend; a book you'll want close on your nightstand, reminding you on those sleepless, teary-eyed nights, that you will survive this pain and you're going to be all right.
All the emotions you would feel before, going through, or after a divorce are expanded upon with vignettes of dog stories. You will experience the loneliness and fear of Gigi, who finds herself in a dog shelter. The author felt like Gigi - alone and afraid. She needed someone she could trust - someone to love her.
Then there's the story of Woodrow, the cat. When he was so sick, they didn't know whether he would make it or not. After lots of love and nurturing, he developed into a 17 lb creature who delighted everyone. Was the author's marriage worthy of all that nurturing? She decides that it's not always wrong to quit; sometimes it's just plain smart.
Through the various cats and dogs that streamed through her life, she learned about freedom, understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, and commitment.
The author forces us to face the raw emotions, and gently helps us to deal with them. There is no such thing as a painless divorce. Then, she gives us hope for the future by sharing the story of how she met her second husband, and what she was looking for this time. She didn't want to make the same mistakes again!
So, whether you are thinking about divorce, going through divorce, divorced and afraid to try again, or if you have remarried, you will definitely get some help from "Happy Tails".