I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT: OVERCOMING THE SECRET LEGACY OF MALE DEPRESSION
Author: Terrence Real
List Price: $15.00
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ISBN: 0684835398
Publisher: Scribner (02 March, 1998)
Sales Rank: 4,359
Average Customer Rating: 4.51 out of 5
Customer Reviews
Rating: 5 out of 5
Everyone who reads this will find some insight
This book offers an amazing amount of valuable information in a clear, concise, approachable format. Terrence Real covers such topics as, why men don't know that they're depressed, how depression is often rooted in childhood experiences, how the myth of masculinity plays a role in the development of depression, how men use various addictions (chemical and non-chemical) to keep their depression at bay, how boys' socialization produces disconnection, and how to repair depression by learning to reparent the self, face vulnerabilities, confront the past, release trauma and shame, rewrite ones story, and use imaginative work to form a relationship with the immature parts of the self, while strengthening the "functional adult" parts of the self. Real uses references to popular movies and books, as well as clinical and personal examples, to add depth and clarity. He seems to approach the topic with a wide-angle lens that suggests a thoroughness to his research on the topic. I highly recommend this book.
Rating: 5 out of 5
If you suffer from depression or you know someone...
If you're a man and suffer from depression, you should be able to find yourself in this book. I found it very valuable in pointing out why we're depressed. I strongly recommend it to anyone who even thinks they are depressed and maybe a lot of people who don't think they are.
Rating: 5 out of 5
Will open your eyes to a world you never knew existed
This is a well written book about male depression, filled with case studies that the author has overseen throughout his years as a psychotherapist. The style of prose is easy to read and the book avoids technical jargon. A distinction is made between covert (or hidden) depression and overt depression - the type which is plain for the world to see. Covert depression in many cases is hidden from the victim himself. The author suggests a strong link between covert depression and addictive behavior.
Although the book was very educational, it left me with an overwhelming feeling of sadness. Case after case after case of abuse, violence, despair and hate leaves the reader with a profound sorrow and a feeling that the world is a terrible place.
Male depression is a "legacy" in the sense that it can be passed down through the generations. In many cases, a father is not able to come to grips with his own psychological afflictions and in turn these manifest themselves in the child when he grows up to be a man.
Male depression can also spring from cultural expectations. Men try to conform to the stereotype of "strong, silent". If a man is an alcoholic or addicted gambler, these are conditions that are seen as curable. However, if a man chooses to discuss his emotions or behaves in a manner which might be considered as feminine, then he is avoided like a leper and socially ostracized.
The book concludes with a powerful message - that it is necessary in life to nurture relationships and have a goal in life that is larger than personal gratification. This is a personal quest on which I am currently embarking.
I have no negative things to say about the book and would highly recommend its purchase!
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