I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One

Author: Brook Noel, Pamela D., PH.D. Blair
List Price: $14.95
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ISBN: 1891400274
Publisher: Champion Pr Ltd (March, 2000)
Sales Rank: 7,374
Average Customer Rating: 4.64 out of 5

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5 out of 5
EXCELLENT, well researched, helpful and comforting
This is an excellent book on death, grief and loss. Sooner or later death will touch everyone's life. We may not all react the same but most will experience the stages of loss and grief from denial to acceptance. It can be a long often agonizing and lonely road to recovery. Sadly the impact of loss and death can leave many with a loss of their own will to live.

This book does an excellent job of addressing a topic that most people choose not to address until they are directly confronted. I am an author of a children's book on death/loss/grief titled "ANGEL STACEY" and I personally know the impact on the loss of a spouse and raising young children who have lost a parent. This book is for the adult who struggles with their own feelings of loss and often has other family members to consider and to console.

Grief has a tendency to creep up in the odd hours of the day and the night and can be overwhelming to those experiencing loss. To have a title, a book that you can reach out and grab at any hour offers comfort. I wish this title had been available sooner as it often was a book that comforted and calmed me most during my own deep dark hours of despair.

Written from knowledge and from a place of understanding and guidance is sure to make this book a winner and a timeless treasure for anyone who has known a deep loss. It cannot take the pain and hurt away but it will help in the knowlege that those feelings are normal. Also that others have experienced the same and made it back to a seemingly normal existence. Death changes lives and changes people forever, many will grow and change for the better. I was never so humble and in essence never so pure and so good as I was immediately following the loss of my first husband and later the loss of my oldest daughter. It was only later with the anger and ultimately acceptance that I found myself once again on level ground. Death or loss can uproot your entire existence. This book is excellent and necessary.


Rating: 5 out of 5
Very Helpful
I found this book to be comforting and very helpful. While this book could help any bereaved person, its particular care to the topic of sudden death is thorough, thought-provoking and enlightening. This type of death is so different than any other, and until this book, I hadn't found a book that truly covered those needs. I noticed a review that said it did not help with personal growth--while I respect everyone's right to an opinion, I must say I wonder if the reader read the whole book. There are several chapters devoted specifically to personal growth, finding mean, transforming loss, creating rituals for healing, calming exercises, healing exericse--not to mention over 50 pages of comprehensive reviews of support resources to help the bereaved. I just thought it interesting because I have never found a book more helpful for personal growth. I just read about the new companion workbook that came out which provides over 100 pages to explore feelings and growth. I am off to order that now! Brook is also coming to Charleston as a keynote speaker for the Bereaved Parents meeting this year. I can't wait to meet her in person and hear her talk about her work and attend her classes. Thank you for writing this book Pam and Brook. You two have TRULY helped me heal, let me know I am not crazy and changed my life for the better.


Rating: 5 out of 5
Great book on dealing with sudden loss
The death of a loved one is always an emotionally difficult experience. When it comes suddenly and unexpectedly it is even more difficult. In "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" the authors take you through the grieving process as well as learning how to deal with such a tragic loss. The first part of the book deals with issues from how to survive the first few weeks to understanding the emotional and physical aspects of grief to dispelling myths about the grieving process.

The second part is mainly the sharing of the stories of various people who have experienced the sudden loss of a loved one. The stories include the loss of a friend, a parent, a child, a partner, and a sibling. This section examines the various related problems that sometimes exist as a result of a loss. For example, losing a partner but having surviving children, dealing with a suicide, and the difficulties of couples surviving the loss of a child are all discussed.

The third section discusses some of the pathways that people take through grief. Of particular importance is that is clearly dispels the myth that we all have a particular pathway that we use to move on past a loss. Each one of us is different and we all have our ways of dealing with grief. What may take one person six months to recover from may take another ten years, some may cry, some may not, some may experience forgetfulness, some may not, we are all different.

Throughout the book the authors discuss how to be a helpful friend for those who are going through the grieving process. The book finishes with a listing of support and resource contacts. For those dealing with the loss of a loved one, or for those who want to help someone who is, this is a highly recommended read.

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