Is He Straight : A Checklist for Women Who Wonder
Author: Bonnie Kaye
List Price: $12.95
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ISBN: 0595004393
Publisher: iUniverse.com (May, 2000)
Sales Rank: 162,417
Average Customer Rating: 3.89 out of 5
Customer Reviews
Rating: 1 out of 5
Poorly Done
This book is not a fair assessment of the complexities which exist in marriages where one partner is gay and the other straight. Bonnie Kaye treats this issue very simplistically by stating the only way to happiness, once it is found out that a husband is gay or bisexual, is to divorce. Her experience cannot be applied to everyone. I'm sure there are many women who want to wallow in self-pity along with Ms. Kaye. However, if women want to have a deeper understanding of what is happening to them after their husbands come out to them, this is not the book for them.
Divorce is not the only solution, although it may be right for some people. There are many examples, which Ms. Kaye fails to mention, of successful, happy couples who are in mixed-orientation marriages.
Rating: 5 out of 5
Thanks for such wonderful, useful insight!
I cannot begin to express my gratitude to Bonnie for taking the time and making the effort to make all this valuable information available to so many women in need. I know personally, discovering that you are married to a gay man is the most devastating thing one can go through.Through my time spent with Bonnie, the support group and her book, I have gained so much valuable information that will help me make informed, logical decisions that will affect the rest of my life as well as the lives of my children.
One of the most helpful things I found in the book is the realization that I am NOT the only woman to have ever faced this and it's NOT my fault. As wives of gay men, we are NOT alone in this matter ... and there are other women who have been and are going through this ... that are so willing to be there for you.
I am so thankful that I found Bonnie. I have gained knowledge and felt her compassion. I feel so much more confident now that I can face and handle this situation in a matter that will benefit all parties involved. I just cannot give enough praise for such a wonderful tool ... Thanks Bonnie!
Rating: 5 out of 5
Analyzing the Dynamics of Marriage
Bonnie Kaye has written a text which undoubtedly can put the spotlight on marriages in trouble and that can not only help spouses come to terms with a life-altering problem, but also develop stragegies to deal with it. In her book, Is He Straight? A Checklist for Women Who Wonder, Ms. Kaye tells her own story in heartbreaking detail and shares with her readers HER way of dealing with the problems which ensue when a wife suspects her mate is gay or bi-sexual. She answers a variety of basic questions that cross the minds of wives faced with the possibility that their husbands are gay in a warm-hearted and authoritative manner; it's like having a good friend to talk to, someone who will listen to your problems and advise you from the point of view of having been their and having suffered the same fears and qualms. Her comments regarding concern for AIDS are most timely and can truly save lives. Her chapter dealing with children of a marriage on the brink of ending because of the revealed sexual orientation of the husband is very valuable in that it treats an issue that is crucial and one which often gets lost in the politics and selfishness of marital decisions based on sexual orientation. I recommend this book to anyone who has ever wondered about the sexual orientation of a spouse or significant other; the grief and anguish it can save is priceless.
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