Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box
Author: Arbinger Institute, The Arbinger Institute
List Price: $14.95
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ISBN: 1576751740
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Pub (09 February, 2002)
Sales Rank: 268
Average Customer Rating: 4.56 out of 5
Customer Reviews
Rating: 5 out of 5
This book saved our marriage
The title of this book is rather misleading. The concepts so clearly and beautifully explained here apply to far more than just leadership. This book would be tremendously helpful to anyone in any sphere of life. My father sent it to us when my husband and I were on the brink of separation. I thought he was way off-base when I first got it, but we both read it to humor him. Once we started, we couldn't put it down. It has transformed both of us and saved our marriage. We're sending it to friends and family for Christmas. Although there's nothing really new, something about the way these ideas are presented enabled us to profoundly alter how we look at ourselves and the way we think about and deal with others. It was as if someone had given me emotional eyeglasses. Suddenly, emotionally complex situations looked clear and simple. Not necessarily easy to remedy, but atleast I could see where I was going. It's hard to imagine anyone this book wouldn't benefit. And, no, I am not related to, nor do I know, anyone associated with this book. It probably won't be as life-changing for everyone else out there, but it's inexpensive, short, and easy to read. Do yourself a favor and get it!
Rating: 5 out of 5
trying to live out of the box
An institute is credited as the author of this book. I find it troublesome in a way. It is too impersonal for such a personal topic. I accept that "self-betrayal leads to self-deception and "the box"". I believe that "when you are in the box you can not focus on the results. Your influence and success will depend on getting out of the box. You get out of the box as you cease resisting other people." The story line moves easily between the business world and one's personal, home life to present these ideas. I would like to thank the author for expressing this in such a compelling fashion. I could almost hug the person whether male or female. But a building? Don't let this trouble you. It is well worth reading. Enjoy!
Rating: 3 out of 5
A Must for Lovers of Platitudes and Nice Sounding Banalities
This very thin book's premise is that we are mostly trapped in "the box". This is a state of mind where we think of ourselves and not of others. By objectifying others and by filtering our perceptions to protect our self image, we get locked into couterproductive interactions with other people.It reminded me of two other similar books "Who moved my cheese" and "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". All three books feel life changing and inspiring, but they fail to change lives. The common element is the simplistic notion that one simple thing (or 7 things) is the magic bullet that is going to change everything.
The 'religious' flavour is consistent with the reviews that say "this stuff is all in the bible".
There is no practical advice about how to deal with abusive and exploitative people, how to balance your own needs with the needs of others etc.
I don't dispute the need for everyone to be self aware and aware of their effect on others, to question their assumptions about themselves and to look at themselves as part of a social system. But there are plenty of better books about that. For example "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman - which has much wider applicability than just marriage.
The Arbinger group runs courses and seminars to fill in the blanks. However given the cost of the book it should have more practical detail to deminstrate that this is not just a bunch of nice sounding words.
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