Mars and Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One

Author: John Gray
List Price: $13.95
Our Price: Click to see the latest and low price
ISBN: 0060930276
Publisher: Quill (18 June, 2002)
Sales Rank: 3,798
Average Customer Rating: 4 out of 5

Customer Reviews

Rating: 5 out of 5
As usual, Dr. Gray does it again with a great book!
I have so far only listened to the Audio Tape Version of the Book, MARS AND VENUS STARTING OVER. As Usual, Dr. Gray does NOT use "psycho-babble", but rather REAL LIFE issues in lauguage that the lay person can easily understand. My Divorce is almost final, and I would HIGHLY recommend this Audio Series to ANYONE who is just beginning the process of a Divorce, (or really at ANY stage in the process). I am eagerly awaiting the Pocket Sized book of the same title. This book, with the full text, instead of the condensed text of the 3 hour audio tape version, will contain in it, I am quite sure, even MORE good, useful and helpful information about the subject/Process of Divorce and learning to not only start one's Love Life over again, but to learn to Love again without fear of the same thing happening again and to Live a normal life, Love again a member of the opposite sex, helping one to re-marry, if one so chooses, and not repeat the mistakes made in the previous Marriage (in My case, my first Marriage). If you have never read ANY of Dr. Gray's material before, I fully expect that you will be very pleasantly surprised with the content of this Book.

Rating: 5 out of 5
A silent best friend in hard times!
The book is wonderfully helpful in reaffirming the absolute normality of anger, depression, fear, and sorrow of a painful divorce, breakup, or loss. It's nice to know that it's OK to feel everything and nothing all at once. From the moment I began to read the pages I felt better. Now I that Dr. Gray has helped me discover the problems, I can tackle them and overcome them and learn how to love and be loved better.

Rating: 5 out of 5
If you fit into any of the categories, rush to get this book
Heard and enjoyed the taped version of MARS AND VENUS STARING
OVER by John Gray . . . the subtitle says it all: "A Practical Guide
for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce or the Loss of
a Loved One."

If anybody finds himself or herself in any of those categories, then
rush out to get this book (or the tapes) . . . you'll find a lot of
useful advice.

The first third is general information . . . Gray then presents material
relevant to women first, men second . . . I found the latter section
particularly valuable for what it had to say to me.

Among the ideas that I got from listening:
* The three steps for healing a broken bone are: getting help, resetting
the bone, and them giving it time to heal by protecting the bone in
a cast. In a similar way, the three steps for healing the heart are:
Step One: Getting help
Step Two: Grieving the loss
Step Three: Becoming whole before getting involved again

* [the four healing emotions]
Healing Emotion 1: Anger
Feeling then releasing anger reconnects us to our passion for love and life.

Healing Emotion 2: Sadness
Feeling and then releasing sadness opens our hearts to fell the sweetness
of love once again

Healing Emotion 3: Fear
Feeling and then releasing fear provides the ability to discern what we need
and can depend on now.

Healing Emotion 4: Sorrow
Feeling and then releasing sorrow provides the ability to discern what is
possible.

* Another way to process the four healing emotions is simply to ask
yourself these four questions. Often men find this an easier approach
in the beginning. By answering these questions, our healing emotions
automatically begin to come up. While answering these questions,
give yourself permission to feel anger, sadness, fear, sorrow, and any
other similar feelings.
1. What happened?
2. What didn't happen?
3. What could happen?
4. What can't happen?

If you wish to explore a little deeper, there are a few more questions you can
ask and answer.

QUESTION ONE
What happened that you didn't want to happen?
What is happening that you don't want to happen?
What has happened that you do not like?

QUESTION TWO
What didn't happen that you wanted to happen?
What is not happening that you want to happen?
What should have happened?

QUESTION THREE
What could happen that you don't want to happen?
What is important to you?
What could happen that you want to happen?

QUESTION FOUR
What can't happen that you want to happen?
What can't happen that you wish could have happened?
What can happen that you want to happen?

By asking these four questions or practicing the three parts of the feeling
better exercise, you will be better prepared to heal the waves of feeling
that come from your loss. With this technique, you will be able to remember
your partner without having to get stuck in painful feelings. With this insight
and ability, you are free to stay in touch with your feelings and complete
the healing process.



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