"No Regrets" offers the possibility of deep transformation in readers precisely because it is: (1) practical, in the sense that it answers the question "What can I do now?" and (2) spiritual, because it invites readers to ask the even more profound questions that underlie lingering regrets. Too many books about inner issues only give outer answers: "Do this and your problem will go away!" or they offer outer doctrines disguised as inner answers: "Believe this and you'll be a happy person!" By contrast, Beazley's ten steps are, at heart, a process that spirals readers inward to the quiet spaces where there is no self deception.
Here is a personal example triggered by reading "No Regrets." I thought I had forgiven others-and even myself-for three or four traumatic events in my personal past. Yet, pesky regrets still came upon me unbidden, like wraiths in the night. I wanted them to go away. After reading Dr. Beazley's book, I realized that I had NOT yet forgiven others, much less myself. Forgiveness comes at the end of the process; I had not yet done the reflective work to reach that stage.
This journey is not easy precisely because it is so important, but Dr. Beasley has clearly lived what he writes about. He joins the reader as a supportive coach and fellow seeker, not a judgmental prophet. Those who read this book looking for intellectual understanding and practical advice about the phenomenon of regrets will find it. Those who read it yearning for emergence into wholeness will also be satisfied, as long as they enter into a process like the one described.
Dr. Beazley is such a clear, accessible writer that one might miss the sophisticated psychological research and timeless spiritual principles that form the foundation of "No Regrets." No matter. If you are serious about letting go of regrets, it's time to integrate what your head knows with what your heart and gut want you to BE. Read the book.
Don M. Frick. Author, "Robert K. Greenleaf: A Life of Servant Leadership."
Not one of the 10 steps outlined in the book is new. And to be honest, everyone already knows each one of them, just not in the pragmatic way Hamilton Beazley outlines them. He is to be applauded for giving us a way to responsibly look at our past, put it in perspective, actively deal with our issues, and create the life we desire.
John Knight
Author 'Change your Conversation...Change Your Life'
Although we may be willing to let go of our regrets, actually doing so involves a process which most of us have never learned. No Regrets is a guide to that process. It offers a practical pathway that anyone can follow. Along with the ten steps that make up the plan, there is a description of spiritual (not necessarily religious) and psychological tools to use and specific exercises to work in the journey. These include: visualization, journaling, self-examination, cognitive analysis, affirmations, prayer, meditation, and sharing with others. The program which the book presents doesn't have to be worked perfectly in order to be helpful.
The tone of the book is very warm, supportive, and encouraging. As you read the book you will feel that you are met along the path by a friend who knows the way and is guiding your steps around the rough places.
Ultimately, this is a book about how to forgive yourself and others. Could anything be more difficult? Yet, accomplishing these tasks holds the promise of enabling us to live free of shame, guilt, anger, resentments, and the pain caused by past events. Dr. Beazley shows a great sensitivity to the difficulty of the work of forgiveness, a tremendous depth of spiritual insight into the issues connected with that work, and a practical understanding of how we can actually accomplish the task and overcome the harmful effects that regrets cause in our lives.
Chapter Five, "Making Amends" presents an analysis of the painful ethical choices that can arise when we come to terms with guilt about the harm we have caused to others. Chapter Twelve, "Forgiving Ourselves," offers suggestions that really do walk you through this difficult passage. Chapter Thirteen, "Living Free of Regret," extends the teaching of the book to the question of how to live regret free once you've let go your old regrets.
Some of the most interesting and helpful parts of the book are the seven categories of regrets, how to make amends to a deceased person, the myths of forgiveness, toxic thought patterns, and the myths and the benefits of forgiving, and what to do "when forgiveness doesn't come."
I recommend this book to anyone who is troubled by regrets. It will also be an indispensable resource to psychologists, pastors, and to all those who are trying to help others deal with regrets. It would be a great book to read and discuss with friends who are working on the same issues. It can change your life.