"Buy it!" (Index librorum prohibitorum)
"Thank you, Prof. Phake-Potter: you saved my academic career! Since my CV was short on publications, I was sure that my bid for tenure here at Rotterdam State University was doomed. But then I bought a copy of your Deconstruction for Dummies, then following your easy, three-step program. Besides being now amply published (also tenured), I am also so celebrated as a deep thinker that I often get invited to appear on TV with the likes of Jay Leno and Oprah. Just think: I owe it ALL to you!" (Erasmus, famous author of In Praise of Postmodernist Folly)
"I'm convinced! This astonishing book, Postmodernist Deconstruction for Dummies, showed me (in the article otherwise examining 'National-Socialist Realism in the Oeuvre of Oliver Stone') how to make $1,026,853. Guaranteed --absolutely. Now I can hardly wait to spend it! Thanks, Dr. Phake-Potter!" (Alan Greenspan)
"Absorbing . . . Ambitious . . . Brave . . . Compelling . . . Dazzling . . . Flamboyant . . . Gripping . . . Indispensable . . . Moving . . . Propulsive . . . Sexy . . . Superior . . . Superbly readable . . . Swift-paced . . . Trendy . . . Utterly [repeat adjectives]." (Roget's Thesaurus).
"I laughed, I wept, and I have learned much. Best of all, I lost 20 pounds! Thanks, Dr. Phake-Potter!" (Oprah)
"A masterpiece, and sui generis at that! Now Phake-Potter sits Expectation upon her ear. The melodramatic scene in the last chapter, where the pompous author goes completely bonkers, was worthy of a King Lear. Spot on, Phake-Potter!" (Will Shakespeare, famed screen-writer of Hollywood in Love with Itself)
"Right now, no writer--theoretician, reporter, pornographer, or novelist--is getting it on paper better than Dr. Phake-Potter." He is a peerless observer, a fearless pedant, a geriatric genius in full, un voyeur sans pareil." (Izvestia)
"Read this exhaustive book and let the adrenaline flow! . . . Gripping anti-narrative history, a convincing re-creation of all the courage, horror and passion of these times as played out on the killing fields of postmodernist academic-theoretical discourse." (Michael Jordan, famous author of In Praise of Postmodernist Basketball Theory)
"Thanks, Dr. Phake-Potter! Now, quoting extracts from your Postmodernist Deconstruction for Dummies, I can finally define what makes for great literature: comedy and tragedy, dollops of non-sequiturs, catharsis and peristalsis too!" (Aristotle, famous author of My Life with Jackie O)
"Postmodernist Deconstruction for Dummies nails the sensibilities and frailties of today. . . . Simulating vitality, Phake-Potter releases spasms of ineffectual violence, uncooked scrawls, incoherent complexities, unappetizing coagulates and colloids of opaque imagery à la Rorschach blotches. Moreover, the desperate author shows a pernicious affection for the murky unconscious, the tinny and the hyperbolic. So armed, he provides the quickest 400-page read you will ever find. In short, we loved it, and we enthusiastically recommend his book to all aspiring National-Socialist Kulturkämpfer!! " (Völkischer Beobachter)
"If you don't buy this book, nobody will ever, ever come to your parties!" (Martha Stewart)
"Postmodernist Deconstruction for Dummies provides a rank bouquet of elusive pensées, culled, garnered, often rudely ripped from the throbbing loins of the overheated Phake-Potterian imagination. Recklessly displaying time-weathered flotsam plucked from the raging delirium tremens of an errant creative process, here are the flashy insights lovingly crafted by a would-be Fabergé among all word-smiths. Unmatched perceptions snatched from the forbidden outer limits of all human experience, these hand-polished erections are yanked from the global village of contemporary sentiment. Eschewing taste and sensibility, Phake-Potter spews out oversized miniatures, all etched with carbolic acid upon the weaker parts of the mind's numbed membranes." (O.J. Simpson)
"A big, complex interweaving of theory-spouting characters to love, to hate, to marvel at, to be appalled by, to recognize as peers in our humans-with-faults parade through life. . . . Certain to conquer the bestseller lists. . . . Un lavoro divino!" (L'Observatore Romano)
"Thanks, Dr. Phake-Potter! Before, I never had any great thoughts to share with people at barbecues. Now, quoting extracts from your Postmodernist Deconstruction for Dummies, I'm the life of the party! Yum-yum." (Jeffrey Dahmers, famed author of The Gourmet Cannibal)
"Postmodernist Deconstruction for Dummies contains passages as powerful and as beautiful as anything ever written --not merely by contemporary French theoreticians, but by any post-structuralist writer. . . . The book is as funny as anything Foucault had written; at the same time it is also deeply, strangely affecting, just like Derrida. We loved it!" (People Magazine)
"Thanks, Dr. Phake-Potter! Before, I never knew how to get a 'hot' date. Now, thanks to a lead given in your Postmodernist Deconstruction for Dummies (in the article you called 'Madonna's Burning Bed'), I can hardly wait to meet her!" (Leonardo diCaprio)
"Everything you want postmodernist cultural criticism to be. It has complex characters and obscure motives, a storyline that keeps you guessing, and the kind of confused writing that makes you want to take your TV in the back yard and pulverize it with a sledgehammer." (Stephen King)
"Dr. Phake-Potter's most deeply felt, most unabashedly literary publication yet. Imbued with more compassion than good sense . . . Timeless and resonant." (TV Guide)
"If you think this is great stuff, just wait 'til you get to see the telenovela version!" (Elián González).
"Dr. Phake-Potter is at his best when he describes the boom times that have encompassed American academic culture, particularly the insidious role played by cultural-critical establishment, especially its revolting contextualizations and interpolations. . . . When it comes to showing us the dimensions of the great sea of money garnered by the whorish merchants of postmodernist theoretical thrills, he shows an exciting talent." (Jean Bowdlerized, famed author of Simulations of Deep Thoughts and Las Vegas in Love with Itself).
"Boy, did I get a bang out of reading this!" (Timothy MacVeigh)
"Dr. Phake-Potter's street-wise awareness and theoretical non-sequiturs have truly enriched my slobbish life." (Slobodan Milosevic, famed author of Ethnische Säuberungsaktionen für Dummies)
"In principio creavit Deus caelum et terram [et Dr. Harry Phake-Potter]." (Genesis 1:1)
"Völlig gefälscht! Davon sind wir überzeugt." (Choice)
"Dr. Phake-Potter's sensitive insights and critical aperçus have profoundly changed my life. I'll never run over a spotted puppy again!" (Saddam Hussein).
"Prof. Phake-Potter has distilled what must be the very essence of the gallant, heroic, melancholy truth of our postmodernist lives. . . . Vivid and stirring. . . . Dr. Phake-Potter conveys our passions and discontents largely through the words of the major players in this grand and terrible drama which we call life (or strife) in the post-structuralist academy." (National Enquirer).
"Dr. Phake-Potter's knowledgeable commentaries on postmodernist art-making, although as yet non-existent, make me truly glad that I'm dead!" (Michelangelo Buonarotti).
"This is a thrilling book. I enthusiastically recommend it to all gay, white, liberated whales!" (Moby Dick).
"We are not amused. But we loved all the naughty bits generated by the likes of Baudrillard, Lacan and, above all, Foucault!" (Queen Victoria).
"Thanks, Dr. Phake-Potter! You've shown me (in the final essay on 'JOMGAR') how I, too, can get my very own cultural-critical theoretical insights into print!" (Madonna).
"Drago dormiens numquam titillandus!" (Pope John Paul II).
"La magique déconstructioniste des académiciens, surtout laquelle générée par Phake-Potter, n'est que l'oeuvre des pédéros perdus qui habitent à la Pédale." (Michel Fauxcon).
"La réponse indiquée pour évaluer le déconstructionisme n'est rien qu'une lindifférence absolute. Peau de balle!" (Jacques Däring-Doudou).
"I'm righteously outraged: Bombs away! I shall now call forth from Allah a virus-ridden curse upon the House of Dr. Phake-Potter! This profane publication clearly calls for another jihad, since his writings exemplify Western decadence at its very worse! May this Phake roast in Hell! May all his royalties evaporate into thin air! Hell, that's the only fitting place for all such academic rubbish! But Academia in America is Hell . . ." (Osama bin Laden).