I wanted to write you an email, but didn't know how to get in touch with you. I know how authors are with amazon.com and how often they check them.
I heard you on NPR and thought of another 'spin' on success. My mother's only sister has two daughters: the older is married to a successful salesman who adores her, has a big house in the suburbs and just had baby number two. The younger is married and also is expecting a baby.
My sister and I are nowhere near married or kids. We're nothing like our cousins. While my mother "claims" she doesn't care and loves us anyway, do you think there's some sense of competition between my mother and her sister? My aunt is working on grandchild number three while I'm still living in a dump on the lower east side. This has nothing to do with money.
My point: "success" means different things to different races and different sexes. I'm not comparing myself to my male cousin who works at the library.
I hope this made some semblence of sense. Because I have not read the book (yet) I gave it five stars just to not throw the curve.
Why. Some researchers claim that birth order makes all the difference- others like to throw gender into the equation. Even others say that the ever mystifying gene pool is responsible for every difference between siblings.
In "The Pecking Order", Dalton Conley proposes a new idea; Not so much that one variable is responsible for all differences, but that many variables factor into siblings' different experiences growing up and make them the adults they grow to be. You say, this is common sense! Yes it is, and it's hard to believe it's taken this long for a researcher to propose that idea.
The extensive research of Conley and his team is manifested in this book. Conley explains the many different variables in detail and how they affect siblings- the gene pool, birth order, family size, gender, death, desertion, divorce, immigration, family migration, socioeconomic change, and random acts of kindness/cruelty performed by those not within the family circle.
The book not only contains the factual research of Conley's team but also the interviews and stories of sets of siblings from every background imaginable, and how their different experiences affected their outcome as an adult. The interviews add a level of the personal to the book, and they validate the authenticity of the research findings.
The information is impressive in and of itself, but Conley's writing style makes for a casual, one-on-one teacher to student type reading environment. He also includes an expansive, 100+ page assortment of his appendix, notes, sources, and index. These are very helpful if you'd like to dive more into the subject.
Conley also reminds us that how siblings turn out is truly subjective- to all of the reasons he lists as well as how people turn out in general.
Very well-written, very informative, and by the end you are examining yours and your siblings' childhood experiences in a new light.
JK