In it, Jarvis recounts the adventures of herself and other women who embark on a daunting spiritual quest: taking "sabbaticals" from their marriage- i.e. their husbands and children- in order to do something they've always wanted, such as travel, take a class, hike a mountain trail, or even join the Peace Corps, as one woman did. Jarvis herself spent three months in the Pacific Northwest living at artist colonies. All of the women, Jarvis included, returned home to find their marriages not only still intact, but revitalized. In their cases, absence indeed made the heart grow fonder.
The idea of a marriage sabbatical is a bold one that challenges the norms of a cherished tradition, and Jarvis will inevitably receive criticism that women who take sabbaticals set themselves up for divorce, or at least open the door for their husband to have an affair. In response, Jarvis points out that husbands can just as easily have affairs even when they're sleeping in the same bed as their spouses every night. After all, men have been taking business trips and weekend fishing expeditions for decades; what is it about women doing the same thing that causes some people to squirm so uncomfortably? Just as husbands come home with a renewed vigor for their spouse, so do women. After learning to survive on their own, however briefly, many of Jarvis' case studies came home with a startling revelation: they're married because they choose to be, not because they have to be. In other words, marriage doesn't have to equal loss of freedom. I couldn't agree more.
To her credit, Jarvis is quick to point out that sabbaticals are not for everyone. Plenty of women work full-time and taking time off for personal growth is not an option; others raising small children will be reluctant to leave them. Moreover, if there are serious issues within a marriage, a sabbatical is more likely to highlight them than wipe them away. The decision to take a sabbatical is not to be taken lightly by any stretch, for which Jarvis breaks down the fears, concerns, and risks chapter-by-chapter, using dozens of personal accounts as well as allusions to everything from the Bible to Greek mythology. As an added bonus, Jarvis paints beautiful portraits of women throughout history who took marriage sabbaticals long before the term existed; their testimonies prove the issue is both current and timeless.
Although nonfiction, The Marriage Sabbatical is written with a literary flair that often feels more like a memoir than a how to. In the age of celebrity publishing and Harry Potter, it's refreshing to read a book that aspires to be a true work of art- and in my opinion nearly succeeds.
in "the marriage sabbatical", cheryl jarvis' approach to re-introducing the idea of sabbaticals is amiable and sensitive to the expectations of society. both MEN and WOMEN are encouraged to consider what a marriage sabbatical suggests. obviously some people will not accept this permission for time apart, I happen to think that those are the people who may benefit most from taking a sabbatical.
whether your relationship is weakened and the sabbatical is sought in counsel, or if it is stronger than ever and the sabbatical is a reward...by taking time to rejuvenate yourself, and rest your intentions, you are allowing a return to your vows and to your partner and offering it a chance to prosper.
while marriage and life-partnerships essentially are "joined-forces", we are all individual people sharing bits and pieces of ourselves with other individuals doing the same.
i am not married, but i do have a partner with whom i dare to dream and his individuality is what fuels my continued striving to constantly re-become the person I am. The more time I spend alone, the closer I get to an understanding of why it feels so right to be with him and how to effectively (respectfully) share the space that we have created for each other, together.
I deeply recommend that both men and women consider reading "The Marriage Sabbatical"...like the real sabbatical - whether you are married or not, it offers a wealth of life.
cheryl..."Thank you" :)