Who's Really from Venus: The Tale of Two Genders
Author: Peggy J. Rudd
List Price: $15.95
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ISBN: 0962676241
Publisher: Pm Pub (August, 2003)
Sales Rank: 145,072
Average Customer Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Customer Reviews
Rating: 5 out of 5
When Worlds Collide - Genesis
Looking at the message from the author that she so thoughtfully placed on the inner cover - "Dear Dana, Please accept this book as my token of appreciation for your many contributions to the gender community. Keep up the good work. Love, Peggy" - shows what a kind heart was behind the words of this book.Dr. Rudd is married, and her life partner is transgendered. This book is an open love letter to her soul mate and not a primer on "How to Apply Make-up". Peggy displays, in her own wonderful way, the ability to put into words her life experiences of what is real about the "world" of living successfully with a transgendered person. She makes no excuses nor bears not one iota of regret or shame. Peggy is happy with her life - and she shares the important factors of living with a TGirl which makes her/their relationship work.
Dr. Rudd's book is actually controversial. When a MtF TG reads her prose it seems kind of shallow - at first. Here's why. The average MtF in a marriage or "traditional" relationship has made up his/her mind that what they are doing is what his/her partner will accept. He/She has rationalized everything out as to why this is acceptable - problem being? - He/She hasn't shared all of the lifelong rationalizations in a way that can be understood by their life partner. He/She has a tendency to only share the "conclusions".
Peggy Rudd does her best to try and get the point across that life partners of MtF Tgirls need explanations - need reassurances - need answers. Life partners want to listen - they want to love and accept. Life partners just need answers. Peggy accomplishes this in a way that not many authors have the ability and skill to do. Through the clever use of lists, recommendations, poems, and examples - she lays out easy scenarios that can lead to discussions that will allow both the Martian (him/her?) and the Venusian (him/her?) to vent, clear their thoughts, and understand.
If you want a book that is an easy read, will give you the opportunity to open up a dialogue between you and your life partner without embarassment, and will allow you to honestly discuss the issue of transgender - this will get it done. If you are looking for a "How-To" book on applying make-up then look for something else. This is a book about relationships - and it is your ticket to easy open dialogue.
Here's a crazy suggestion! Buy two books and each of you read one simultaneously. You will laugh together, cry together, and open your souls together.
"A woman is not born - she becomes".
Rating: 1 out of 5
Disappointment
After eagerly anticipating an in depth treatment of the subject, I frankly found Ms. Rudd's performance disappointing and shallow. Much of the book seemed to be devoted to ordinary issues arising in two people getting along harmoniously in any relationship...for example, her extensive quotes of Gen. Powell. Further, nothing was said about the absurd inequity in this culture where a woman can dress fully as a man and be perfectly socially acceptable, even down to the boxer shorts. Is the male in the relationship going to go into a big number over the female wearing jeans or business suits?? So why should the female such as Ms. Rudd make a big deal of her husband 'cross-dressing' (is a female cross-dressing when she dresses like a man?)? She makes it appear that the shocking business of her husband/boyfriend 'cross-dressing' is fraught with issues for the (injured) female in the relationship to work through??? Not much of a substantive analysis was ventured as to WHY many men have this desire....such as perhaps because in this distorted macho culture the normal human characteristics that are associated with being properly limited to females (such as sensitivity, passivity, weakness, being emotional (except anger which males are allowed to feel)) are off-limits to the successfully American inculturated male (cf. Jung and discussions of the animus/anima which all humans possess). In any event, I found Ms. Rudd's treatment shallow and superficial, and much ink was wasted on the common relationship issues that don't specifically address the subject at hand. I certainly do agree that the issues raised are important, and that males need to appreciate and accept their 'feminine' sides along with their 'male' sides. For some males cross-dressing seriously or just in fun or just in a limited fashion perhaps can be part of that. After all, females due to the women's movement now can act and dress exactly like males and nobody makes an issue of that. Time for a little equity, guys. Time for one of you to write a book from the male perspective, not the female's perspective as illustrated by Ms. Rudd's superficial and subtlely judgmental treatment.
Rating: 5 out of 5
A delicate subject with a touching and delicate good taste
It is not often that we can have the privilege of reading such an excellent book as "Who's really from Venus?". It is a fortunate blend of common sense, clear, well written prose, intersped poetry and good taste. It's very touching and a great help both for husbands and wives. One of the best books I have read in many years. If you are interested in this subject, this book is a must. If you are not familiar with this subject, this is a very delicate and well informed way to find out about it. Five stars, applause and my heartfelt appreciation to Ms. Rudd. Similar Products
Crossdressers : And Those Who Share Their Lives
Crossdressing With Dignity: The Case for Transcending Gender Lines
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