Dr. Zukerman doesn't impose a lot of rules on the hopeful reader. In my own experience, "The Rules" only works in the sense that nobody, whether male or female, should become obsessed over another to the point of wearing them out; a little distance is what most normal people want in a relationship. It's really not necessary, as "The Rules" would have you believe, to play mind games and jerk men around in order to "catch" a man. Unless that's the sort of lifestyle you admire... Women over fifty don't have much time left to play mind games, they just want some love and companionship, and "in the end, only Kindness matters," as the popular song goes. It's true! However there are a few important tips: don't make a dating relationship a forum for airing out your dark secrets and awful stories about your past love life. You don't want to wear him out with bad images, but create a light and cheery identity right away, and keep it like that until you really know the man. Isn't that what you would have done if you were thirty years younger? Total disclosure is for bankruptcy, and that's where you'll be if you gross men out with horror stories and wild revelations at the beginning.
Guess what: after fifty, you don't have to wait to make the first advance! Many men after fifty have been bit a number of times, and will hold back to protect themselves against further relationship disasters. So you have to get yourself out there and flirt with lots of them, even if you get rejected-just gut up and go for it! You have a goal-to find love, and a limited amount of time to find it. You can even ask a man out! You can even take steps to search out an old boyfriend. But steel yourself for rejection, and prepare yourself for some surprises: many men at this age will warm up to a woman who is flirty and friendly. Women, too, are skeptical about landing a dud once again, but too much critical pondering and shopping-list evaluation, and you will severely limit who you can stand to be with, and miss the chance of getting to know a man as a complex person, just like you are. All of us are awkward on the first few dates, men and women, and project a skewed image of ourselves without intending to: it's important to give the man several chances to show what kind of person he really can be before writing him off. Do not Interrogate! Get to know him slowly, in a light-hearted manner. And keep a stash of name cards (not business cards) ready to hand out to friendly men!
Sex: women over fifty can get AIDS like everybody else, so you want to be cautious with that one. No jumping into bed before you really get to know the guy. That's just common sense. Money: women need to keep their own money separate, because statistically, after 65 they're twice as likely as men to be poor; at the same time, there needs to be a common "pot": the "mine," "yours," and "ours" checking accounts are a great idea! Weird matches: Dr. Zukerman discusses the ins and outs of relationships that are complicated: married men, priests, Alzheimer's husbands, gay & bisexual, distance, inter-ethnic, older/younger, and she devotes a particularly revealing section to polygynous (one man, two or more women) situations which I haven't seen elsewhere.
The only small thing I found slightly objectionable was a paragraph on pp. 31-32 which might be misinterpreted to make women think that exercise and working out at the gym should not be a major priority in their agenda to attract a man. It's true that really fat women can sometimes attract men, but it usually grosses them out. Miriam Nelson ("Strong Women Stay Young") is a Tufts physician who has demonstrated that exercise and weight lifting can help women lose weight, regain balance and bone density, and be a whole lot healthier and more energetic, all the way into their 90s. It's important to present an image of glowing health, even if you are a bit overweight. Everybody can benefit from going to the gym, and you can meet some men there, as well, which wasn't pointed out in this book. Dr. Zukerman, a sociologist, points out that women over fifty can wind up with "a whole set of musculoskeletal problems," which may be true for the body-Nazi, but not for women who go about a regular routine of workouts three days a week, according to Dr. Nelson, who is a medical doctor.